I See a Squwill in de Fwidge!!! - Update

Written on 05/27/09

There's a long history in my family where squirrels are a menace to our society. It goes back to my Grandmother, Nonee, and may even go back further than that! One can only imagine the run-ins that the Shacklefords have had with squirrels over the years.

The Broom

I've heard the story over the years, but I don't even think that I was a speckle in my Mother's eye when Nonee chased a squirrel all throughout her house with her broom. From what I understand, Nonee nearly tore the entire house apart trying to kill the silly thing. Nonee is a wonderful woman...not only for her laugh, her heart, and her example, but for her dedication. She wasn't gonna let that squirrel win if it was the last thing that she did!

Shacklefords = 1 / Squirrels = 0

The Store

Same scenario here. Uncle Sam ran a Christian Bookstore at one time. A squirrel got loose in the store, and after many, many attempts...you guessed it...

Shacklefords = 2 / Squirrels = 0

The Doubt

I travelled with friends to visit another friend in the military. While visiting, I spotted an albino squirrel. I mentioned this to my friends, and not a single one of them believed me. They all thought that I was losing it.

Shacklefords = 2 / Squirrels = 1

The Car

Rusty and I tried everything we could to keep the squirrels from eating all of the birdseed. We even went so far as to put an oil pan around the pole to keep the squirrels from climbing up the pole. I sat in the window overlooking my unsuccessful bird feeding venture with a pellet gun. Stupid squirrels still found a way. As I was backing our of the driveway one afternoon, I noticed that the little boogers were diving out of the trees onto the top of the birdhouse 10 feet below. As I silently cursed the wretched creatures, I ran right over Rusty's car. A nice black line of paint was now present down the entire left side of Rusty's once yellow car. I'm not liking the way this is working out here.

Shacklefords = 2 / Squirrels = 2

The Toilet

Mom woke up in the middle of the night to hear something sloshing around in her bathroom toilet. She didn't quite know what to think about it. She figured a frog or something had come in through the pipes, so she flushed the toilet and headed back to bed. A few minutes later, the sloshing started up again except this time, it was a little more urgent than the last. Again, she went into the bathroom and flushed the toilet. Whatever was in that toilet was not coming out as far as she was concerned, so she kept flushing and flushing and flushing until the noise subsided. She headed back to bed until she woke up the next morning. As she went back into the bathroom, this time to use the facilities, she opened up the toilet lid. As quickly as possible, she closed the lid and called Rusty. There were no survivors! Mom had drowned the squirrel that had gotten stuck in the pipes from the roof. The squirrel's only way out was through the toilet bowl. Could you have imagined the story I would have just written if Mom's toilet lid was opened when Mr. Squirrel decided to come in to play?! Rusty gathered the squirrel up and took him to the dumpster. Things are looking up for the Shacklefords.

Shacklefords = 3 / Squirrels = 2

The Joke

This past Christmas, Aunt Corny got me a stuffed squirrel as a joke. She is very aware of the Shacklefords vs. Squirrels situation. This silly squirrel travels throughout the house - hiding in the strangest of places. Rusty tries to scare me with him. The squirrel (whom deserves NO name) has been spotted in the dryer, the pantry, the bathroom, the cabinet with the plates, under my pillow, the microwave, and many, many more places.

Now, Rusty and I are messing with the kids. Rusty hid the squirrel in the refrigerator this past weekend. Sam keeps his drink on the bottom shelf so he can reach it when he gets thirsty. Sam opened up the fridge and started cackling! He said, "I see a squwill in de fwidge"! I don't think that I've ever seen him laugh so hard. He truly thought that it was the most hilarious thing that he has ever encountered. He said, "Squwill is Silwy"!

All I could do was hug him. The squirrels may come up from behind and take over this never ending battle, but one thing is for sure! The Shacklefords and Corleys will never stop laughing!

Update
Written on 3/22/10

The House

Our house is on stilts much like you would see on the beach. The difference between ours and a beach house? Our house is surrounded by trees! When you have trees, you have squirrels. Since we moved in, we have had squirrel problems. There is one living in our storage room, they ripped all of the insulation out from under our house to make nests IN the house, they are EVERYWHERE! We just recently spent a little over $3,000 to repair our house, and attempt to block the little terds from getting back in the insulation. Let's pause here...

Shacklefords = 3 / Squirrels = 3

The House - Part 2

So, after dishing out WAAAYYY too much $$ to fix the squirrel damage, as I was putting Emmy into the car for church yesterday morning, I looked up, and nearly fell over. I saw the squirrel that now LIVES in our insulation, sliding on his belly through the plastic sheeting and the chicken wire. I hurried up and surveyed the area where I found a stick and several pinecones. I set Emmy in her chair and looked back up to the squirrel. He moved from the plastic to the corner where he was completely visible. He was curled up in a ball...HIDING from me! I still had a chance to stab him with the stick, but wanted to make sure that Emmy was at least buckled up a little bit before I began my battle (as a 9 month crazy hormonal pregnant woman vs. stupid squirrel). I put the seatbelt on Emmy, and within seconds, turned back around to see the squirrel running up the tree! I said a few choice words to myself, and headed to church where I couldn't even focus on the sermon because of my anger.

Shacklefords = 3 / Squirrels = 4

The Transformer

My cousin, Alli, had a squirrel get in their transformer the other night, and the entire neighborhood's power was out for the entire night. Whereas poor Abigail had to experience her first night with no power, I'd say that her sacrifice was well worth it. The chances of that squirrel's survival are enough for the Shacklefords to claim a victory.
Shacklefords = 4 / Squirrels = 4

The Mini
I know...without a shadow of a doubt that the squirrel from yesterday's events KNEW the intention of murder in my heart. After church, I parked the car in it's usual spot, and as I left yesterday afternoon for dinner with a friend, I noticed something very strange ALL over the minivan. As I was driving down the road, I turned my windshield wipers on, and ROCKS flew everywhere! I really hope that I didn't get any of the cars that were behind me. I KNOW that the littles didn't do this because it was raining ALL day, and they weren't allowed to go outside. I pulled over at the gas station to investigate. Apparently, the squirrel (whom can read minds) broke off several mud dobber nests from the house, and THREW all of the debris onto my car! I am STILL in shock! I feel like my brain may very well explode from irritation!
Shacklefords = 4 / Squirrels = 5

Update
Written on 4/1/10

The Susie
I was reminded about another squirrel escapade which I am completely embarrassed to admit that I forgot. This is one of the better Shackleford "WINS" in quite possibly the documented history of this war.

Susie and I would sit in the window box at my Mom's old house and watch the squirrels go after my bird feeders - successfully - to my disdain. I would whisper in Susie's ear something along the lines of, "Susie, get the squirrels. Get 'em. You better get 'em. OOoooooooo." Susie would start shaking uncontrollably in excitement, and I'd eventually let her out of the house so she could chase the squirrels into the trees. She NEVER was fast enough to catch them until one day, she WAS! She ran, lickedy-split, into a patch of squirrels, grabbed one of the little boogers, and started shaking it with a ferocious glee. I never thought that she would actually get one, but when she did, the "girl" in me came out, and I immediately felt horrible. I ran after Susie while screaming, "Susie! Stop! No squirrel!" What a loyal dog she was. She continued to shake the squirrel until she snapped his neck - securing a WIN for the Shacklefords. Poor Rusty had to put the squirrel out of his misery, and I have to suffer the guilt (hehe) for so many years to come.
Shacklefords = 5 / Squirrels = 5


I will contine to document our escapades, but for the record, I loathe squirrels!